The face that launched 1000 Cleveland steamers

 

Here in idyllic southern France, where I live in relative sun-drenched comfort compared to the rest of humanity’s heaving, sorry, chlorine-gas filled mass, we are all staunch Le Pen supporters, because we’re afraid of war-torn brown people coming and taking our holiday lifestyles away from us.

 

 

Through the picturesque vines and stone-built walled olive groves of this area you will often find an FN or even a swastika daubed hastily on a shed wall. The locals have done this, and I don’t know what they’re complaining about, but then again – they probably don’t either. They’ll have a good talk about it while they sip half a litre of rosé at ten in the morning, before driving the school coach two hours across the country.

 

The rise of populist politics (Trump, Brexit, Le Pen) was summed up neatly when I recently visited the house of a stranger. In the house of this stranger was a cat bowl, and it was so full of food, it was overflowing with little dry brown biscuits. They looked like refugees, scattered across the floor. Needless to say, when the cat sashayed through the kitchen, it was one fat fuck of a cat. Clearly, the owner did not understand the concept of input and output. Put too much in, and you have problems. There must be balance for health, for longevity, for happiness.

 

Around the globe, people are beginning to sense that there is some sort of imbalance going on, and the first people to get it in the neck are refugees. Populist, popular, Trump and Brexit voting populations, who enjoy a good read of 50 Shades no doubt, see migration as a threatening horde of benefit stealers.  Those brown people are a threat!

 

They fail to see that it is in fact the profiteering organism above them that is completely sucking them dry of all life, that is sucking all our planet's resources to a dangerous state of emptiness, because it tells us and incites us to have everything – we can have the full bowl until it brimmeth over and guess what? It’s all really, really affordable.

 

Technology, fashion, housing decoration, cars, flights, holidays, cheap stuff and shallow memories, all pyrrhic dreams of the vampire with its twin fangs of inseminated aspiration and cheap consumerism.

 

In the village where I live, the posters of the candidates in the first round of elections were defaced with devil’s horns and moustaches, all excepting Le Pen. Considering how this is one of the poorest areas in France, it never ceases to amaze me how rich people can hoodwink poor people. The defacements had the same hasty, black spray-can style as the FNs and swastikas. Some poor, uneducated French youth, supporting a rich bitch who would not squat down and sprinkle piss on him if he was on fire.  He's upset because he wants an iPhone, and a Golf TDi and immigrants are top of his list for why he does not have them.

 

Personally, I love Le Pen. Whenever I see her, I think she is the most perfect candidate I have ever seen for a Cleveland steamer, which I confess, in keeping with her other supporters, I have little idea of the details involved, but like the way the words sound.

 

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