Hit by a bus with teeth

 

I came to the conclusion once on acid, that all the madness, the hallucinations, the water dripping from the ceiling, the crazy flows of light around me, and also the world beyond: politics, war, disease, famine and fear of death, the whole screaming gamut of existence – all of it was just a distraction to prevent me from winning a game of ISS Pro against my friend, who was also very high on acid at the time.

 

 If you do not know, in an almost biblical sense, what ISS Pro is, you will never fully comprehend that statement, but suffice to say that what that experience taught me, is that it is very easy to be convinced that you are right, when you are bang to rights wrong.

 

Sadly, another surfer chick has been killed by a shark off the coast of Western Australia. There have been calls for a cull. To their profound credit, the parents of the girl have spoken out against the cull, as it would have been against their daughter’s wishes. But there still exist voices in favour of culling, and here again we have an example of people convinced they’re right, when they are bottom-of-the-barrel wrong.

 

The convenience class (that’s you and me) want to have our holidays please, which frequently involve splashing about in waters that we have flipped over and butt-fucked with overfishing and pollution for the last one-hundred years. It should therefore be no surprise to see a fin on the horizon, an apex predator marauding the outer regions of the simian splash zone. Take a man’s food, and he’ll steal if he’s hungry. Take a shark’s food, and you get a human on a surfboard hit by a bus with teeth.

 

The irony here is that great white sharks, Carcharadon carcharias, do not like the taste of humans – not fatty enough - and because the animal only bit once, they were able to give the girl CPR on the shore, as there was enough of her left to do this. Which brings us to the second, sadder irony: the people getting hit by great whites are slim, surfer types who love the sea and its inhabitants, not the fat tourists wading by the shore and leaving crisp packets on the beach. Perhaps instead of nets for sharks, there should be signposts for them.

 

So if you hear calls from down under that the great white should be unprotected and in fact culled, be aware that the people calling for this are profit class (that’s them – not you), and are protecting some moneyed interest somewhere, and don’t really give a shit whether people get mauled by marine monsters, but do care when the dollars stop flowing to their part of town.

 

And these people in the profit class (that’s still not you – remember?) are so high on profit and success that they believe the most ridiculous things, and will continue to believe it until we challenge them, through voice, protest, and weaponized consumption.

 

In the game of ISS Pro I mentioned, I tackled Ryan Giggs with a bald player and all my players became one giant bald player and we scored a goal to win the game. It was magnificent and I have never forgotten the wonder of its deception.

 

Write a comment

Comments: 3
  • #1

    Andy King (Friday, 28 April 2017 13:00)

    We should have a 20 year anniversary ISS/poker tournament in a couple of years

  • #2

    Joe (Saturday, 29 April 2017 20:28)

    Agreed - only PS1 controllers allowed...

  • #3

    Ell (Saturday, 29 April 2017 23:15)

    PARAGUAY! X